Porn sites, dating sites and chats – virtual sex is getting more popular. How he changes the life of married couples? Let’s try to carefully consider this new type of marital infidelity.
I also decided to try. In the search engine I scored the words “sex” and “chat” and went to the first address in the issuance. I even registered, honestly indicating the age, gender and for the first time in many years measured the main parameters of the figure, I chose a certain age category of chat people – so not young people and not old people – and began to hang out. I don’t know which of these parameters seemed especially attractive, but after a minute I already had four applicants for virtual contact with a detailed description of the pleasures delivered to me. And five minutes later, I got confused in what stage of achieving orgasm we are with the owner of Nika Black Mage, and on which – with a bruise, not to mention Lell and Corderito. The vocabulary became more and more brutal, the details became increasingly scanty, and the photos sent by the main participants in the process should have brought me to an ecstatic state. But here I allowed tactlessness, doubting the true size of one especially outstanding image. And all – the conversation broke off. I allowed myself a couple more ironic remarks and was left without gentlemen. Brutal network macho machined turned out to be vulnerable, easy -minded people. Everything is like in real life.
At least once a month, 43.3 million Russians go on the Internet, about 30% of the inhabitants of our country. 29.4 million of our compatriots use the network every day*. 12% of all Internet resources are suppliers of porn information **. Only two or three clicks with a mouse-and we find ourselves in a world where there are no prohibitions. But there is an endless abundance of porn films, various courses for teaching sexual practices, girls (and boys) for every taste, lovers of group sex … which is not on the shelves of this sexual supermarket! Use the Internet and not be on porn resources (without even wanting it) today is almost impossible. For the same of us who want to add passions to their lives, to realize (albeit virtually) their sexual fantasies, communicate with an unfamiliar partner under the mask of Nika or survive a short sexual adventure, temptations here are an infinite number, and they are all available by pressing the button. But are these contacts so harmless?
New infidelity?
“Recently, my friend and I began to live together, and – about horror. “I found that he constantly enters dating sites and porn sites,” writes www on the forum of our site.Psychologies.ru, the owner of Nick Alena82. – But I am interested in his sexual fantasies. I probably could accept most of these desires “. Members of the Internet community actively responded to this message. “Do the same, you also have the right to fantasize,” writes Miglesha. – His “bump” of vision will quickly change, or at least he will begin to share his desires with you, and then everything is in your hands. “” Familiar story, “Olga_olga shares. – And sad. If you can, tear relations. Or begged. Although for what? One thing I can say – you can’t correct it anymore “.
And what do men and women feel, sitting at the computer, while their partner is sleeping in the next room or watching TV? They look at dating sites for hours
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, tirelessly check the mail or communicate online. That this is a new form of betrayal? Is it possible to change on the Internet? “No,” says Nikolai, who has been married for two years. – I never meet in real life with women I meet in a chat. And when I am with my wife, I think only about her “. “And for me this is a real betrayal,” Mariahdelmar is sure.
Ekaterina, 27 years old “how it was”
“Internet sex, chat communication, exciting walks on porn sites – this secret world beckoned me. I expected new adventures, impressions and entertainment from him. I had a webcam and a friend who had long wanted to try it. And I agreed. Makeup, hairstyle, sexual underwear and phalloimitator – everything was ready. The matter remained small-to place a laptop on the bed and attach a webcam to the floor lamp-in such an angle my body looked more attractive. Virtual sex session can begin. A friend groans in the most sensual expressions that he is capable of, asks to remove panties and a bra. I disconnect from the connection, undress, painfully looking for a profitable pose, so that without folds on my stomach. I call back, I hear approving assessments of my nudity. I connect the phallimitator to the session. I, in general, do not care what the size of the main dignity of my friend. But the devil pulled to smash: “Show me!»My interlocutor has a camera built into the laptop, so then I observe how the laptop crawls on the bed, a chair falls into the lens, and a huge plush bear on it. “Yes, I see … you have it so shaggy! What are large paws!”-only manages to squeeze out due to bursting me down. In response – interrogative silence. I have to confess: “Medve-e! Take him away, otherwise I have a hysteria!”Suddenly, the door to the room opens under the onslaught of a cat, awakened by my imprudibly loud replicas. On her bestial look, since the hostess does not sleep at such a late hour, the path will play with her. Well, at least mom did not wake up.
I continue the process. The cat runs around the room and yells, the music in the computer seals, I think it’s time to portray an orgasm. At the same moment, my cat jumps on a floor lamp, he falls with the camera with a camera. The frightened mother still wakes up, runs into my room and sees me naked, on the floor, with a floor lamp in one hand and phalloimitator in the other. Time – 7.10 a.m. Stop, camera! Filmed!”
Click as treason
Alexander visits porn sites regularly, goes to them for discharge when his wife is not ready to have sex. He also does not consider his virtual adventures a betrayal, but admits that he feels awkward, because he masturbates too often in front of the computer screen. “Of course, we can talk about infidelity here,” says the psychotherapist and sexologist Alain Héril. -When one of the partners begins to hide something, devote time to someone else, even through a computer, he weakens an intimate connection with a partner and this deprives a loved one ”***. “But to decide whether the“ virtual adventure ”is treason or not, it is still not the one who practices such experience, but the one who does not do this,” says the psychoanalyst Loick Roche.
Our experts confirm: more and more often at consultations, men and women say that their partner spends a lot of time on erotic sites. This situation is more likely to excite men – because they seem to penetrate the secret world of their partner. She hurts women, wounds. “They are experiencing her as a real betrayal of Sigmund Freud,” explains Alain Eril, “and begin to imagine that the husband lives a parallel, interesting and filled life, which is much more diverse than the routine life in their pair”.
“More often porn sites are visited by men, and women tell about this with resentment,” agrees the sexologist Catherine Solano (Catherine Solano). – And this is understandable. For a man, all kinds of erotic pictures are another world that is in no way connected with his real relationship in a couple, does not affect them “. Women, on the contrary, usually live in a single world where everything is intertwined and interconnected.
What causes shame
The fear of being misunderstood makes you hide your virtual ties. “Sexy theme is one of the most taboo,” writes FWS on the forum of our site. – Any misunderstanding, disagreement, jokes are perceived extremely painful. Therefore, it is safer not to put experiments. How to change the situation? Discuss your feelings, discover your experiences, talk about your fears. In general, talk to each other “. The sexologist Sergei Agarkov agrees with him: “If we find our partner or partner in virtual sex, do not be offended and regarding what happened as treason. It is better to suggest “play Wrth” by three, turn an awkward situation into a joke ”.
In the closeness of the theme of virtual sex, the role is played by the fact that orgasm is achieved by masturbation. With this sexual practice, not leading to the continuation of the genus, the idea of sin is traditionally connected, self -satisfaction is condemned by the Church and social morality ****.
Virtual sex zone
Special domain zone .XXX will be highlighted for pornographic sites and porn industries. This idea of the International Internet community was supported by the International Organization of Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN), which regulates issues related to the functioning of the Internet. The first sites in the zone .XXX will appear this year. 110,000 applications have already been received for preliminary registration of the relevant domain names. Creating a separate zone for porn will facilitate the task of those who are looking for sexual contacts on the Internet, and those who come to the network with completely different purposes.